No, we still don't have local meetings.

I receive several emails each week via the Moderation Management site regarding meetings in the Baltimore area.  The fact that people are interested in MM as a way to help them change their drinking habits is great, but I'm disappointed that most people don't respond when they find out there aren't any meetings yet.  Some say thank you and ask me to contact them when meetings become available and some don't respond at all.  If anyone out there has suggestions for how I can get the meetings started sooner, I'll willing to listen.  Please understand that although I'm a little bit frustrated, I'm saying this honestly and openly and I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

In this era of email, blogs, and social media, it seems silly to secure a place first and then just hope that people show up.  It would be different if I simply wanted to establish a new location for Alcoholics Anonymous.  After all, AA is well-established as it has been around for decades.  MM, on the other hand, is new to most people.  The whole concept of alcoholism as a disease which requires sufferers to quit drinking forever has become rather firmly ingrained in our society too.  Therefore, many people looking to learn moderation skills may be criticized by their families and their peers for looking for an excuse to keep drinking.  I dealt with this and I know it's tough; we want to show our loved ones that we are serious about making a change and that can be difficult if we are presenting an approach that seems new and controversial.  

To me, the logical introduction of MM to this area should occur in this order: 

1.  Present the basic fundamentals of the program online.  The main site directs people to me so that I may respond by introducing myself and encouraging discussion on this blog.  By the way, the comments section is available to anyone, so people do not have to sign in to Google+ in order to post comments.  At this point, the blog turns up in search results if you punch in "moderation management Baltimore." 

2.  Interest in MM grows as more discussion takes place on the blog.

3.  I secure a meeting room at a local school, library, or church basement.

If I move directly to Step 3, there is a strong possibility that I will be sitting in a room somewhere by myself or with one or two other people quite a few times before a core group of attendees becomes established.  I would love to have that much time on my hands, but I don't.  If I'm going to commit an hour of my week (more when considering travel time) I need to know that at least a couple of people will be showing up to the first few MM meetings.  

Like I mentioned before, some people may meet resistance with spouses and family members when they tell them they are attending MM as opposed to AA.  I could be wrong, but I think that this will make establishing a core group quite difficult at first.  I really think I'm being realistic here as opposed to pessimistic, but if anyone reading this feels differently, please speak up.  I'd love to hear from you!

Now that I've gotten the topic of live meetings out of the way, I'd like to talk about how change and acceptance happens gradually.  When certain laws and beliefs form the standards by which many of us live by for many years, change is difficult.  Any new movement or "paradigm shift" involving something such as the established "disease model" of alcoholism is going to occur slowly.  But a society can change its views over time.  Just look at what is going on with marijuana legislation.  After decades of prohibition, some states are changing legislation to allow for medicinal use.  Colorado has taken the helm as the pioneer state to allow recreational use.  

People are beginning to realize that some plant certainly isn't going to be the downfall of our society.  After all, those of us who are getting older tend to feel that our days of experimentation and partying are behind us (myself included).  So even if Seven Eleven started stocking every strain of wacky weed imaginable, we certainly would not rush out and stock up on it.  It would just be nice if people who already use it could just keep doing so without fear of criminal prosecution.  A black market never did anything for tax revenues, so it would definitely make sense for the state and federal governments to allow marijuana to be sold legally.  They may as well make some money off of a cash crop that find its way into the market regardless of its legality.  

Rather than continue along that tangent, however, I'll relate the shift of pot prohibition to the shift in how many people approach the concept of alcoholism and problem drinking.  As more people demonstrate success with Moderation Management, the program will become more mainstream and accepted.  Just as many Americans are realizing that legal pot won't turn us into a nation of potheads, many will also begin to recognize that problem drinking behaviors exist along a spectrum.  While some people may fail at alcohol moderation, the fact that others are successful with it will help others realize that accepting such a program will not turn us into a nation of shameless drunks.

If anyone out there reading this would like to get on board and help with the Moderation Management "movement," please let me know.  Even if you don't live in the Baltimore area, your thoughts are welcome here! 

Moderation on vacation? Sure, but with a few exceptions...

Last week, my wife and I took our kids up to New York State to visit her family at their summer retreat on Lake Ontario.  We go every year, and it's a great time since we really do "get away from it all" up there. There's cooler temperatures, plenty of things to see and do, and of course, relaxation.  And as we all know, people like to relax with a nice, cold alcoholic beverage.

In order to thoroughly evaluate my drinking behavior last week, I must first look back to last summer.  I had not started my "journey" into moderation of alcohol, so once I was up at the lake, I drank like a fish.  My bad habit was exercised in full-force.  I was on vacation and I didn't have to drive anywhere.  What are vacations for, right?  My wife didn't feel the same way and after some deep introspection, I changed my mind as well.  In fact, even after my success with moderation in recent months, she was still worried that I would go up there and start knockin' em back just like last year.

So how did I approach drinking while I was away last week?  I decided in advance that since this was going to be a vacation and since it was only a week, drinking every day wouldn't be a problem.  I was careful to consume at a slower pace than I did back in my days of gluttony, but I went ahead and indulged in a few drinks every day.  By the end of the week, I had finished a twelve pack of beer and I had enjoyed a few mixed drinks.  So yes, I did go over the 14-drinks-or-less mark.  I wouldn't recommend that to someone who fears regressing to daily and/or heavy drinking after a week of indulgence, and looking back, I think I would rather cut back during my next trip.  But I'm not going to beat myself up over it, especially since I did so much better than I did last year.

Let's look at the positives here.  I drank far less, overall, than I did last year, and I paced myself so that I could enjoy myself and relax without worrying about how soon I could crack open another beer or pour another drink.  I also got a twelve pack for the week rather than a case, so I was committed to not over-doing it.  Let me add that in such a rural area, obtaining beer is not quite as convenient as it is here in the city. It's the sort of place in which you have to drive to the next town.  If you are trying to manage your alcohol moderation on vacation (and are a newbie at it like I am), this is a good thing.  Although I never got a buzz like I did last year, I still had the same amount of fun. And it was nice not feeling like crap the next day.  By the way, if you ever find yourself contemplating whether or not you should have "one more," just remember how much nicer it is to wake up without a hangover!

I learned another thing about how to make moderation easier while on vacation.  This seems obvious and self-explanatory because I already knew it and I've written about it before.  Eat plenty of food!  One of my issues has always been that I could drink more if I started on an empty stomach.  Some great happy-hour snacks to go with cocktails include cheese and crackers, hummus, pretzels, and raw vegetables.  We usually have potato chips with the old sour cream n' onion dip out too, but paper-thin chips tend to vaporize when they hit the stomach, so you can't quite count on them to fill you up and slow the absorption of your booze. It's never a good thing to be plastered and stupid by the time dinner is ready.  Snacks combined with pacing one's self makes consuming a beer or glass of wine with dinner a lot more reasonable.  That's just common sense.  Ya know?

I haven't reverted back to my bad habits this week, so that's another good thing.  With what I've learned so far about myself and moderation, I honestly don't feel that such a regression is in my future.  I will just continue to practice good habits while giving myself a break for the occassional indiscretion as far as drinking is concerned.  If a vacation involves daily drinking, that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as the old "no-holds-barred" attitude remains a thing of the past.